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SlashFilm.com brings us another look at Johnny Depp in Tim Burton’s remake of the television classic DARK SHADOWS.

There was a time when you said “Tim Burton is doing _______” and no matter how wacked out or crazy whatever filled in that blank was my response would have been “Wow. That’s going to be fantastic!”

Those days are long gone. Long gone.

My faith in Tim Burton came to a crashing halt in 2001 with the horrible Planet Of The Apes. There are plenty of stories as to why this film sucked so bad but I still have to lay the blame at Burton’s feet for this mess.

He followed that with the charming BIG FISH but followed that with the severely disappointing Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

How in the hell could that film fail? If you had to pick a modern director to create the world of Willy Wonka who would you have chosen? Yes, you would have picked Burton. I sure as hell did but disappointed is my only feeling for that film.  It broke my heart.

How could Burton have missed?

After that disappointment burton momentarily redeemed himself with the amazing SWEENEY TODD. This was the Tim Burton we knew and loved. Sure he cast his Helena Bonham Carter in this (like every single other film he’d done since he hooked up with her on Apes) but it an amazing, demented and glorious film.  Burton was back… but not for long.

 

He screwed his believers again with the piece of shit that was Alice In Wonderland.

 

What a sell out. Crappy film in horrible 3D.

 

So, based on that you might be thinking Burton does one crap film and follows it with a good one. Right?

 

Here come DARK SHADOWS.

First there came this cast photo with a very odd looking Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins in the background. Weird but not too scary.

10 years ago I would have been dancing in the streets about Burton doing a remake of the series and I had some limited hope— now comes a new picture (below) and all hopes are dashed.

Depp looks ridiculous.

 

Dark Shadows is going to be a PG-13 piece of campy crap.  I’ll say it again: Dark Shadows is going to be a PG-13 piece of campy crap.  Look at him, obviously they are going for laughs with this look. What a fucking shame.

 

The Tim Burton who made ED WOOD would not have made this horror. I can’t believe the Burton who made Sweeney Todd would have made this either.

 

Shed a tear now any of you who had hopes for Burton’s Dark Shadows, this photo of Depp as Barnabas Collins should put any hopes to rest.

 

Having said this: Yes, I could be wrong but look at this photo— it’s going to be a comedy. A watered down, PG-13 comedy with no atmosphere and will probably end up being post converted into 3D.

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